a time to say adieu.,.
it’s quite late now. but still i couldn’t put myself to sleep. i tried almost everything to help myself out but things didn’t seem to work out. I could close my eyes but i couldn’t shut my thoughts. It seemed to function against my will and wanted to go on and on. Then I decided to give in. to let myself to stay awake. to let the pain pour out and let the unwanted tears shed for the last time.
I guesse it’s alright to cry now. i couldn’t deny anymore how much it hurt to think that the one i learned to love so much is getting married tomorrow. and not to me but to somebody else. i know i should have no worries about him. they’d been together for four years now. and according to him, this was really what they wanted to happen. a plan that had never changed even if she had to leave the country for a while,… but how i wish she did not leave him behind. if she had only stayed, he wouldn’t have longed for the love and caring he missed.,.,. and we would have had a different story.
while she was away, he and i met. he was very sweet, kind and funny. he found me when i was trying to recover from not-so-good relationship. being a good person, he offered himself to be a friend i could talk to. someone i could call and open myself when ready. he was someone who was willing to understand, laugh, and cry with me.
in his way of helping me, i know in some ways i was helping him too. until it came straight from him, how happy i made him each time he was with me. maybe because the attention and company he was giving and receiving from me were the things he needed for himself too.
on each day we spent together . we found each other wanting more from each other. we were surprised with the feelings of jealousy and the emptiness whenever were apart. 
deep within me i knew that a stronger feeling was growing inside me. and looking unto him, i know that there were unspoken words he was trying to hide from me. until the shouting truth could no longer be denied. i wouldn’t forget that very moment when he honestly told me that it wasn’t easy for him to say it knowing it wasn’t right and it wasn’t fair but i just have to know that he loves me so much. 
i didn’t want to lie to myself anymore. i didn’t want to resist him. i couldn’t be just a friend to him. and i know then that i should let him to discover how much love i had for him. we were happier after that confession. and for a moment we tried to reject the reality of her existence.
i was aware of the consequences i might face and God only knows i didn’t want to hurt anybody. but every time he held me in his arms, nothing seemed to matter. i just wanted to stay there under his care. i wanted to steal that moment in time and keep it forever.
in my mind i knew it was wrong, but my heart refused to understand. in him i could be a child; with my being fragile, he made me felt secure and protected. and with all his caring he brought me up to be a better person. he helped me grow and to blossom into somebody i never thought i could be.
but just like summer that had to give way for the rainy days, the time came for me to let him go. she’s back and there were promises to be fulfilled. there were dreams that needed to be realized and wrongs that should be made right. tomorrow, he’d be walking the aisle with her, and of course, i understood. i should understand. 
i couldn’t say it was alright. i was crushing inside but i couldn’t show it. i didn’t want to know that i was breaking apart. i promised him i would be fine. we’re talked about this before and we’ve prepared ourselves for this, but still, why did it hurt so bad.
i just knew i had to go on. i got to hold on to every strength left in me. this would be a tough battle but i knew i wouldn’t fight alone.
i said goodbye for the two of us. the words i should have said long ago. our paths that crossed once should separate now. but i should carry his memories with me to whichever way i would go. i would go always cherish his words in my heart; "you will always be a special part of me. thank you for the magic we shared together. nobody could take this away fro you and me."
i dedicate this to my best friend nina grace nate and to may who also her friend.,. and to all women behind all pmmaer’s life.,., i salute you for patiently waiting and for continually loving your respective partners. and to some that will always be in my heart. thank you 4 reading this!!!!!!
